#Hash

Dearest internet,

Well, well, what do we have here now?  I spy with my little eye a new kid on the Hardware Lane block.  (I would waggle my eyebrows gleefully at the potential shirt-fronting but they BE ON FLEEK TODAY SON and you don't mess with that.)  If you've made a pilgrimage to The Hardware Société or Nieuw Amsterdam sometime in the last month and a half, you may or may not have noticed a graffitied wall on your left as you head down from Lonsdale.  I, for one, am thrilled at its close proximity to the brunch monarch as I smell a potential Hunger Games. I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.  

 For those who come in two by two.

Are you a vampire and enjoy the nightlife and all that the jazz, but by some cruel twist of fate found yourself awake at 10am in the morning?  Need to avoid disorientation by feeling like you're at a bar pronto? Look no further!  This is a place that recoils from the sun akin to our instinctual reflex towards garlic breath.  Not gonna lie, it bought me back to some good times (in regards to the night life stuff, not garlic breath).

We were taken up the stairs to a second level and led to a bench.

Tables behind us because some of us fortunate ones have friends and family.

If you lean in over the bench to look over the counter and take a photo... you'll meet the eyes of the barista and look like a creeper.  Awkward.  Oh the awkward.  I was contemplating seppuku for a while thereafter but decided not to insult all the righteous men before me who did it for honourable reasons.

There's a nice collection of organic fair trade teas [all $5] and thoughtful notes to help a bro out outlining the region it's sourced from, its aroma and its profile.  My brunch partner had the 'Bai Long Jing' green tea which hails from the 'Zhejian Province of China', has a 'subtle nut-like aroma' and is 'sweet, rounded and long with delicate notes' quote unquote.  Look tbh I still have no idea what that all means, but if you were to describe it to anyone who asked how your tea was you'll sound totally legit (albeit a little pretentious).  Your tea will come with a little timer to tell you when it's been steeped properly and is ready to drink so you can't really mess it up.  As someone who needs all the help they can get, this was an excellent touch!

Hash has their own signature house blend which is a combination of Ethiopia Konga Keebie, Kenya Maganjo and Kenya Kieni [$3.80]; as a non-artisanal non-barista that all went straight over my head, but I highly appreciate all the effort they put into creating their beans.  I ordered a soy mocha stronger on the chocolate [$3.80 + Soy .50c].  It was sweet enough, with chocolate being a major player, and the coffee still prevailed so you know you're being hit with some serious caffeine so I give it a thumbs up (because that's a highly accurate and sensitive measurement of satisfaction).

Btw, see that water in the beaker?  IT'S *SPARKLING*.  

#tapwaterisforpeasants! #waitdoesthatmeanIcan'tdrinkitthen?

We chose off the breakfast menu because we wanted eggs. So basically you start off with a base of two eggs done however you like [$10.50] (shown scrambled here) and add your sides of choice.  Pictured above are bacon [$5] and roasted field mushrooms [$4].  This dish ended up being $19.50, which I reckon was the standard price at Hash.  Next time, I'll be ordering the Chorizo, Scallops + Egg [$20.50] because scallops. For only $1 extra.  Versus bacon.  'Nuff said.  Unless you prefer bacon.  All the power to you then no problems here.

This is eggs (once again scrambled) and smoked trout [$5] which came to $15.50 which I thought was pretty decent and was very filling.  Just thought I'd note that the smoked trout is served as slices and not in a slab... you know, just in case you need that defined because you just never know these days.

If you want a normal decent breakfast of eggs and sides with no frills and no surprises, you'll enjoy the breakfast here.  Warning: the sides can add up very quickly (reminds me of shopping at Daiso, next thing you know you're at the cashier handing over $100 for a mountain of $2.80 items) so do consider the other more adventurous options at a similar cost.  They're serving Ocean Trout Rilettes [$19.50] and Leek & Cheddar Croquettes [$19.50] which sound pretty good or if you're into sweet stuff, 'Coconut Yoghurt Pannacotta' [$15.50].  The lunch menu reads a little like fine dining with 'Crispy Quail' [$22] and 'Foie Gras Sliders' [$27] so that should pique the interest of some of you.

After a little friendly chat with a waitress, I found out that Hash has only been open for about 6 weeks so it's still a baby!  If you're already in the city I think it's worth giving it a go if their options sound attractive (NB. I would try their coffee if I were you since they've put in so much thought into it), and I suggest going during off-peak hours because queues are real.

Yep, that's pretty much it.  See you soon loves x

Hash Specialty Coffee & Roasters

113 Hardware Street,
Melbourne VIC 3000

 

The Broadsheet Restaurant Melting Pot

Dearest internet,

Akin to how most of my life plays out, I didn't mean to end up here.  The 'Broadsheet Restaurant' pop up gave me the eye from across the street right before brunch which took me quite aback being one who is not usually at the receiving end of such sorts; I gave it a once over, liked what I saw, one thing led to another and I'm guiltily shoving money over the counter a couple of hours later (OH FOR LORD'S SAKE JUST HURRY AND TAKE IT BEFORE I AM SEEN). 

It's just so hard to resist a limited edition.  Where's my restraint?

I liked what it wore; quite Scandinavian if you ask me (no one is asking, no one).

It was done up beautifully for a place that will disappear with a poof on August the 2nd (2015).  I believe that there was a whole team of local designers involved in the plan of attack and it paid off quite nicely methinks.  Kinda digging the outdoor heaters inside (so naughty!) and that coupled with the foliage created the illusion of an outdoor experience without the bird poop on the furniture.

The baked goods on display are from Tivoli Road Bakery (all $5.50).  The two that caught my eye were the 'doussants' (babies of doughnuts x croissants) and the salted caramel doughnuts (tinier than the standard... which might just come in handy post main meal; read on, read on and you'll see why). 

This restaurant serves dishes selected from some of Melbourne's best which I find such an interesting and novel idea.  Whoever thought this up, GOLD STAR FOR YOU.  If this trend continued, there would be no more "Babe. where do you want to go?" "How about trying insert cafe?" "But I wanted to go to insert cafe!" "Why did you ask me then?!?".  One step towards world peace (too much of a stretch?).

Coffee by Small Batch.  Coffee art on a mocha (not mine).  

My order was 'soy mocha, stronger on the chocolate' as per the usual.  I really do thank the barista for his heavy handed chocolate sprinkle on the top (he really went to town) especially after he put in all that effort to make coffee art but... there was a teeny weenie bit of a misunderstanding (anyone else read that in an Irish accent? No? Just me?).  If you like your mocha to taste like coffee with a nod to chocolate, you'll swoon at the taste of this.  I only just tolerate the taste of unsweetened coffee which was pretty much what this was, but a few shovels of sugar into it made it right as rain.  Just be prepared you know?

Rye bread Smorrebrød with smoked salmon, cracked pepper cream cheese and devilled egg (from Filter : $18).  Technically it was equal to one piece of rye bread cut into three pieces, three small slices of smoked salmon, a few oozes of cream cheese, one egg and a few twigs of green; can't complain really as they did add salmon caviar and that stuff is the equivalent of gold.  The dish tasted good (loved the eggs and caviar) but there weren't any fireworks I guess?  Do note that you're likely to be hungry still after this dish.  That said, it'll leave you room to try out those Tivoli pastries from before which would fill your belly up quite so; perhaps it was all part of a cunning plan from the very start?

Twice baked brioche French toast with fennel poached pears and burnt caramel sorbet (from Top Paddock : $18)  It was reported to be enjoyable but not filling (it was the size of a few sticky note pads piled up on top of each other).

Baked free range eggs with tomatoes, fennel, chorizo, goat's cheese and burnt pickled onions (from Top Paddock : $20). This was substantial (only just) once again, and only one egg was served despite a definite plural suffix to think back.  Smelt pretty darned delicious to me any how and it was given a nod from the consumer.

I present to you some pictures of pot plants.

Very friendly service and welcoming!  The ambience of the place was so soothing and chilled we lingered a while and at no point did we feel rushed to leave despite the place filling up rapidly towards the end of our stay (we had to line up to pay!) and that's saying something judging how vast the place was.  Great concept but may require a little tweaking in the areas of portion size and mochas (PLEASE SIR, MORE CHOCOLATE) but no biggie.  It's open for dinner and dessert too from Wednesday to Sunday if that rocks your boat.  Don't wait too long though guise ok?

Yep, that's about it.  See you soon loves x

The Broadsheet Restaurant

166 Gertrude Street
Fitzroy 3065 

 

Taking Orders from The Lilydale General

Dearest internet,

A stork delivered an extra special package to a good friend and I've waited (because it's always about me) nine months for the masterpiece to arrive as there was no express delivery available.  My patience was stretched so thinly that if I were ordered to walk over hot coals to reach the prize I would have gladly asked "At what temperature m'am?" but kindness is my friend's strong suit and all I needed to do was take a mini road trip.  So I journeyed across the golden soil to the footholds of Lilydale with one true purpose burning in my heart as I headed for The Lilydale General.

If that was my gym up top, my body would transform all right.  By evading said gym session and heading straight for food on the bottom floor.

A La Marzocco machine churns out the daily grind.

A significant portion of their sweet selection was gluten-free or vegan which was so thoughtful.  To be honest, I've never seen so many options on a menu that cater to the alternatively diet-ed or the health conscious.

What appears to be the bar if those are bottles of '-OH'.

Blurry shot.

Due to the pram and the quantity of our party, we were gently ushered to the courtyard.  I spy with my little eye a wasp trap dear lord.  Not to worry, we only saw one during our two hour discourse.  Naturally it flew ferociously straight towards my head with appreciable determination.

I got through that alive with thanks to the brave feats of my friends ("OMG THERE'S A WASP NEXT TO YOUR HEAD!").

What a breathtaking view of 'Tint-A-Car'.

Scenery aside, it was a gorgeous winter's day and it was delightful basking in the sun.  Courtyard seating was warm and relaxed, with just enough shade to avoid sunburn; exactly what we needed.

Soy mocha.  The memo was passed on accurately and it came out stronger on the chocolate.  A solid cup right there.

Feast your eyes on the half serve of the 'Local Free Range Eggs' (scrambled) with a side of 'Ben's Local Smoked Salmon' and 'Side Chips' [$16.50].  

I was expecting slices of smoked salmon and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was in fact a well done and well executed marble filled slab with none of that Dead Sea saltiness you could float in.  It looks tiny in the photo, but it was a sizeable chunk.  On the other hand, if you had cravings for that raw fish texture you would have needed to make full use of your anger management strategies.  Those crinkle chips were hella crispy too, and the oil was fresh creating a light golden colour.  Nothing fancy, just a good chip with a sprinkle of salt.  I can eat a lot in one sitting (albeit at the pace of a sloth) but this filled me right up.  They're a generous lot judging by the mound of creamy scrambled eggs they piled onto my plate.

'Eggs... Atlantic' style [$17].  Poached eggs, Ben's flaked smoked salmon, spinach, hollandaise and sourdough toast.  Can't comment personally but a thumbs up was given.

'House Made Crumpets' [$15] (vegetarian) with caramelised fig, vanilla goat's cheese curd, roasted pistachios and coconut nectar glaze.  I was told that it wasn't particular outstanding ("Hmm, yeah, meh"), but it filled the stomach.  I'm afraid there was no way I can attest to this as goat's cheese products will not and cannot be voluntarily ingested.

'Breaky Burger' [$15].  Toasted Turkish roll, Ben's bacon, sunny side up eggs, locally made tomato relish, avocado, roquette and mayonnaise.  I can't for the life of me remember wth that side was (query early onset dementia?) but it looks like little roasted potatoes to me.  I was told that this burger was a solid favourite of my friend's partner and it was demolished in its entirety with smiles so take that as you will.

'Croque Monsieur' [$12].  Shaved local ham, cheddar cheese, Dijon bechamel and spring onion in a baked sourdough sandwich.  This looked amazing and at 12 bucks it was likely the best value option in the entire menu.  Again, a positive review from the consumer. 

In conclusion, there was attentive, humorous and very friendly service from the staff and dishes that our taste buds were satiated by.  That said, we were ravenous by the time our food arrived as there was quite a wait (over half an hour?); the place wasn't packed full but I guess there were a lot of tables occupied as it was a large space if one were to compare it to its inner city counterparts.  If you're in a rush, probably not an ideal choice on the weekend.  If you're looking for a place to chill which friends to while away an afternoon, this is it!  We took half an hour to make menu choices (girls, you hear me?) which they cheerily accommodated with positivity and patience.  When the weather's warmer, I'll be taking one of their smoothies filled with goodness (what is mesquite or lucuma? Must be one of them superfoods!) for a test drive (Choc Mint Crisp or Coco-Rudy are calling my name).

Recommended if you're in the area!  The locals certainly flock to it, and with good reason.

Yep, that's it.  See you soon loves! x

The Lilydale General
110 Beresfold Road,
Lilydale VIC 3140
http://thelilydalegeneral.com.au/

   

Game Face On at Pidapipó

Dearest internet,

After a botched attempt at obtaining gelati at Brunetti's due to its perchance for attracting queue jumpers (OH THE ANGST) I felt very wretched and hard done by (I know, only the most seriousness of issues will be dealt with on this platform) before my eyes landed on the glory that was this luminescent neon sign as an answer to my benediction (HALLELUJAH!).

Lemme tell this to you straight, Pidapipó ain't playing games when it comes to gelati.

Don't you be mistakin' it for nothin' else.

I'll keep this short today.  Was out with friends at the time (stop looking so surprised) and was juggling a whole heap of items with separation anxiety so not a lot of photos were taken.  I'm confident...ly unsure that I ordered the flavours 'Bacio' and 'Peanut Butter' (no wait, yeah actually on second thought that sounds about right) and this combo set me back $6 which I thought was quite reasonable being artisan and all.  As it is considered one of the best gelati spots in Melbourne, I was in for a good time.   They both had consistently smooth, creamy textures without being overwhelmingly thick so yay.  Flavours are perfect if you enjoy it light and I could tell that a lot of thought was put into its creation.  I lean towards an overwhelming robust taste that punches you in the face and enjoy crunchy bits to chew on so while I demolished the whole thing with relish I wasn't ready for marriage.  That said, I believe the warm nutella swirl topping ($1) will probably change my mind about commitment so that's gonna happen sometime soon.

Yep, that's it.  Talk soon loves x

Pidapipó
299 Lygon Street, 
Carlton VIC 3053
http://pidapipo.com.au/

 

Pigging Out at Baba Sus!

Dearest internet,

I found myself outside Baba Sus.  Slightly befuddled as to how I got there exactly as it camouflages itself down some random side street in a very suburban part of town.  Stubbornness got me there eventually ("SEETHING SUBTERFUGE! IT WAS I!" says the driver quite indignantly) and I was rewarded with this mirage. (Except, you know, it was real.)

Strategically located next to a post box in case you want to write home about it.

See the trees in the reflection?  That's where the Baba Sus logo is, and precisely what I didn't manage to capture.  Despite that being the whole point.  I was trying desperately hard to be super casual and not... 'sus'. (See what I did there guys? What do you mean 'shut up you're being lame'?  Well sorry for breathing.  Where am I going with this??)

Guess where I chose to sit and why! (Disclaimer: no free chocolate prizes)

Just imagine what it'll be like in spring or summer.

Not only could I stare at the counter, I had a creepily perfect view of the kitchen.  Despite working under what I can only imagine to be intense time pressures, the kitchen staff appeared very much in control with determined precision in every movement.  I know this because I was doing a lot of staring.  Also I was tracking every dish that was prepared with much enthusiasm (IS THAT MINE?)  

This table was highly sought after, and I took this 'ambience' photo (who am I kidding?) while there was a war over who should claim territory somewhere on the left.  All I could hear was a lot of pompous unsolicited noise from a certain customer who decided that he and his entourage should lay claim over another gentle group, rightfully being bestowed with the legal title as they had been patiently waiting to be seated for 10 minutes.  Baba Sus' choice in waitstaff is to be highly commended as they dealt with the situation with a 'the customer is always right!' attitude despite this particular customer being plainly... not quite right.  The waitstaff were so apologetic and provided a clear explanation as to why it wasn't possible and they would be promptly seated soon, but the customer flounced off, despite their best efforts, in a cloud of unjustified huff.  Baba Sus dealt with the situation with such grace and I would go back just for the friendly positive vibes the staff give off!

Now for something completely different (insert segue-way).  This soy mocha had the right balance between chocolate and coffee, with chocolate being the dominant flavour.  That's what I specifically asked for and what was delivered with love.

*whistles* 

Love you too baby!

The Baba Sus latte.  After a friendly and much welcomed chat with the barista and a waiter (such angels!), I was told that they have their own signature Baba Sus coffee blend made by a couture coffee roaster in Bendigo... or was is Ballarat?  Maybe it was neither (my memory fails me!) but it was reportedly good, smooth and a solid choice for those who like their coffee strong (according to the drinker who, in my humble opinion, is a coffee connoisseur and inordinately discerning).

Just because we all appreciate a little latte art.

Carb-loading to start.  Feast your sparkly eyes on these beer battered chips with kaffir lime salt and sriracha aioli.  I've had a lot of chips in my life (said solemnly as my eyes stare off into the distance with nostalgic wisdom) and these rate in my top few.  They were crispy on the outside, but soft and creamy on the inside.  They used fresh oil (unlike some cafes who think they can get away with using sludge scraped off the ocean after an oil spill) which gives the chips a cleaner flavour and a golden colour.  I'm a die-hard Sriracha fan so that little bowl put a spring in my step.  Don't let the photo fool you into thinking it's a small bowl btw. No no noooo, the amount served could be a meal in itself!  I suggest one bowl to share between a couple/few peeps.

LOOK AT THAT SEXY BEAST OF A WAFFLE.  ALL THE FEELS.  RIGHT IN THE HEART.  LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS TRUE Y'ALL. 

You know that feeling you get when you meet a celebrity?  I had to calm myself down and fan myself for a bit.  A few lovely inquisitive customers sitting adjacent asked me sociably what it was so I was provided an opportunity to gush about it a little.  Oh, where are my manners?  Let me introduce you to my dish!  They are the exceedingly famous, justly celebrated and highly photographed Hong Kong Egg Waffles conveniently located on the breakfast menu.  I was expecting just a pretty face, but this dish is brains and beauty, with each aspect of the dish tasty in itself.  The egg waffle was soft and pillowy, akin to eating tasty clouds, and were laced with vanilla custard goodness.  I was prepared for a sour berry compete (experience has me traumatised) but was rendered breathless by its candy sweetness.  The matcha ice-cream was... how to say?  Ah yes, perfect.  I was transported straight back to Japan.  It was so good, I would've licked the bowl if I didn't practice decorum.

If you're not as willing to put yourself out there as a strong candidate for diabetes like I am, there appears to be magnificent savoury options too.  I spotted a 'Blue Mountain Wagyu Burger' and many, many bowls of 'Soba Noodles' promenading past and I had to restrain myself mentally from pulling a Gollem with his 'preciiouussss'.  I also spotted vegetarian and gluten free choices on the menu that sounded appealing so rest assured that you're covered.  See you all there!  Talk soon loves x

Baba Sus

15-17 Bardolph Street,

Glen Iris VIC 3146

http://babasus.com.au/