#Hash

Dearest internet,

Well, well, what do we have here now?  I spy with my little eye a new kid on the Hardware Lane block.  (I would waggle my eyebrows gleefully at the potential shirt-fronting but they BE ON FLEEK TODAY SON and you don't mess with that.)  If you've made a pilgrimage to The Hardware Société or Nieuw Amsterdam sometime in the last month and a half, you may or may not have noticed a graffitied wall on your left as you head down from Lonsdale.  I, for one, am thrilled at its close proximity to the brunch monarch as I smell a potential Hunger Games. I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.  

 For those who come in two by two.

Are you a vampire and enjoy the nightlife and all that the jazz, but by some cruel twist of fate found yourself awake at 10am in the morning?  Need to avoid disorientation by feeling like you're at a bar pronto? Look no further!  This is a place that recoils from the sun akin to our instinctual reflex towards garlic breath.  Not gonna lie, it bought me back to some good times (in regards to the night life stuff, not garlic breath).

We were taken up the stairs to a second level and led to a bench.

Tables behind us because some of us fortunate ones have friends and family.

If you lean in over the bench to look over the counter and take a photo... you'll meet the eyes of the barista and look like a creeper.  Awkward.  Oh the awkward.  I was contemplating seppuku for a while thereafter but decided not to insult all the righteous men before me who did it for honourable reasons.

There's a nice collection of organic fair trade teas [all $5] and thoughtful notes to help a bro out outlining the region it's sourced from, its aroma and its profile.  My brunch partner had the 'Bai Long Jing' green tea which hails from the 'Zhejian Province of China', has a 'subtle nut-like aroma' and is 'sweet, rounded and long with delicate notes' quote unquote.  Look tbh I still have no idea what that all means, but if you were to describe it to anyone who asked how your tea was you'll sound totally legit (albeit a little pretentious).  Your tea will come with a little timer to tell you when it's been steeped properly and is ready to drink so you can't really mess it up.  As someone who needs all the help they can get, this was an excellent touch!

Hash has their own signature house blend which is a combination of Ethiopia Konga Keebie, Kenya Maganjo and Kenya Kieni [$3.80]; as a non-artisanal non-barista that all went straight over my head, but I highly appreciate all the effort they put into creating their beans.  I ordered a soy mocha stronger on the chocolate [$3.80 + Soy .50c].  It was sweet enough, with chocolate being a major player, and the coffee still prevailed so you know you're being hit with some serious caffeine so I give it a thumbs up (because that's a highly accurate and sensitive measurement of satisfaction).

Btw, see that water in the beaker?  IT'S *SPARKLING*.  

#tapwaterisforpeasants! #waitdoesthatmeanIcan'tdrinkitthen?

We chose off the breakfast menu because we wanted eggs. So basically you start off with a base of two eggs done however you like [$10.50] (shown scrambled here) and add your sides of choice.  Pictured above are bacon [$5] and roasted field mushrooms [$4].  This dish ended up being $19.50, which I reckon was the standard price at Hash.  Next time, I'll be ordering the Chorizo, Scallops + Egg [$20.50] because scallops. For only $1 extra.  Versus bacon.  'Nuff said.  Unless you prefer bacon.  All the power to you then no problems here.

This is eggs (once again scrambled) and smoked trout [$5] which came to $15.50 which I thought was pretty decent and was very filling.  Just thought I'd note that the smoked trout is served as slices and not in a slab... you know, just in case you need that defined because you just never know these days.

If you want a normal decent breakfast of eggs and sides with no frills and no surprises, you'll enjoy the breakfast here.  Warning: the sides can add up very quickly (reminds me of shopping at Daiso, next thing you know you're at the cashier handing over $100 for a mountain of $2.80 items) so do consider the other more adventurous options at a similar cost.  They're serving Ocean Trout Rilettes [$19.50] and Leek & Cheddar Croquettes [$19.50] which sound pretty good or if you're into sweet stuff, 'Coconut Yoghurt Pannacotta' [$15.50].  The lunch menu reads a little like fine dining with 'Crispy Quail' [$22] and 'Foie Gras Sliders' [$27] so that should pique the interest of some of you.

After a little friendly chat with a waitress, I found out that Hash has only been open for about 6 weeks so it's still a baby!  If you're already in the city I think it's worth giving it a go if their options sound attractive (NB. I would try their coffee if I were you since they've put in so much thought into it), and I suggest going during off-peak hours because queues are real.

Yep, that's pretty much it.  See you soon loves x

Hash Specialty Coffee & Roasters

113 Hardware Street,
Melbourne VIC 3000